Life has many stages and we as human beings are going through these stages daily. In one stage you feel that you are so happy, ambitious, active and nobody can beat you, and in another stage.. you are alone, lost, lazy and feeling like you are zero. Really…..This is life
Because of that we need each other.. to support each other and to learn from others experiences. I learn from my kids and from my friends. So let us share this we know and live with others.
Let us start with me. I want to share with you something from my life. I’m married woman and I have two daughters. We are originally from Palestine but we live in Sweden now. We speak Arabic, English and Swedish fluently.
In the last few weeks I had many problems with my two daughters. I was disappointed many times and I felt many times that I’m bad mother. I couldn’t sleep because I feel guilty. But then I focused more on understanding my little girls and what they really need. I start to read about children and how to deal with them in different situations. It’s really important to understand your children and the most important to know that there is no perfect life.
These days am reading Swedish book, Lyhört Föräldraskap (responsive parenting), Barn utveckling och anknytning de första fyra åren, that is written by Malin Bergström, barnpsykolog med dr.
In this book speaks Malin about everything that make us nervous in our relations with our children. I want to share with you alittle of what she wrote about the perfect parents.
”Forskning har visat att barn från familjer där man talar om sina känslor och tankar utvecklar den här förmågan än barn i tystare familjer….Istället för att dölja när vi blir sura eller arga som föräldrar hjälper vi barnets metatänkande och inlevelse förmåga när vi sätter ord på våra känslor. Ibland säger vi psykologer att perfekta föräldrar är livsfarliga för barn eftersom barnen då inte lär sig någonting.” (Malin Begström, 2013, Lyhört Föräldraskap,Barn utveckling och anknytning de första fyra åren, page 257)
In these sentences I found what I wondered about for three years. It’s just the best of what I read about children. Malin says that searches approved that it’s dangerous for children to liv with perfect parents, because in this case they will learn nothing about life. She says that the children who lives with parents who share their feeling with them, grows up better with more abilities to face difficulties in life, than others who lives with perfect parents.
Finally I want all of you to think again about how you treat your children and to take it easy. Do not be afraid too much of life..just try to understand it and give your children a chance to live normal life first to erase the idea about the ideal world from your and their mind. Life is not perfect but we have adorable kids who needs us to show them the right way to live healthy, secured and successful life.
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